How to Leave the Seventh Day Adventist Church

This article will take you through the different steps you need to take before you can leave the church. Please note, I will not go into any great lengths to convince you to do these things. If you decide to not follow these steps, that is entirely up to you. But if you have arrived here, my guess is that you already understand why these things are necessary.

To leave the church, we are going to follow a multi step strategy. This strategy has been designed to  have you create a life that is completely separate from the Seventh Day Adventist church (and avoid suspicion in the process). You will have a separate house, a separate job and separate friends. When you leave, you will have all of the resources and support that you need without having to ever appeal to an SDA member ever again.

Disclaimer: This article is aimed at young adults and upwards. If you are a young teenager, then please read this instead. This article is also aimed at people who come from conservative Seventh Day Adventist families and applicable liberal families.

Things you need to do before you leave

Step 1: Build up your non-SDA social support network

When you leave the church, you will lose your SDA friends and family. Even if they try to maintain a positive relationship with you, the chances are that it will be laced with pressure to rejoin the church and it will be very awkward. You will be very lonely. You need to make non-SDA friends.

How many friends you will need to make will be up to you. Some people only need a few friends, but they want those people to be incredibly close. Others like to have a wide network of friends and don’t really mind if they aren’t that close to them. Think about what you need and be honest with yourself. Before you leave the church, you need to build up a social network of non-Adventists that meets all of your needs on its own.

You also need to account for the fact that you will lose your family, and Adventist families are usually very close (even if internally bitter). You need support that will help you overcome the immense depression you will be likely faced with when you lose your good relationship with them.

An ex-Adventist, “Chuck”, describing his experience once he deconverted. Follow my advice to avoid this.

This is a huge task, especially if your family was very exclusive and you grew up in Adventist institutions. This is the biggest task of all, and it is not to be rushed. If this takes you a few years, wait a few years. People that leave without a social network risk going back to pretending to being an Adventist just to seek emotional support.

Step 2: If you live in a Seventh Day Adventist household, move out.

Step 3: If you have a job in a Seventh Day Adventist business/institution, leave it.

Step 4: Build up your finances

My suggestion is to build up a little “deconverting nest” of money, so that you cab completely self-sufficient. Get a car/bike/scooter so that you are not reliant on any SDA for transport. Have extra money set aside to take care of yourself; for instance, if your SDA father fixes your car for you normally for free, have enough money to be able to afford a mechanic to fix your car for you. When you leave, you don’t want to owe a Seventh Day Adventist anything. If you owe them something, they will have power over you and could easily draw you back into having to engage.

Step 5: Draw away from Adventists

Not only do you need to make non-SDA friends, but you need to start drawing away from the Adventist world. This will help prepare your SDA friends/family for your deconversion to help soften the blow a little. Start asking questions about SDA theology when you feel brave. If you were a conservative, then start becoming more and more “progressive”. Drinking caffeine like coca cola sends a good signal.

Stop going to extra SDA events throughout the week like AY’s and, importantly, don’t take on any responsibilities at church. When they come and ask you to volunteer, say no. When they treat you poorly for this, try to find he humour in it. If you need to take on a job to save face, try to take on a small job. If your SDA friendships are shallow I suggest you completely pull away from them altogether and drop them. Break as many SDA ties as you can.

Once you have all of these things in place, it is time to start planning for when you go public.

How to “come out” to your Adventist friends & family

There is no easy way to do this, but eventually you are going to have to tell your family and friends that you are no longer a Seventh Day Adventist. Yes, you will need to say the words. This strategy was one that I created that helped me, and I know that many other ex-members have done similar things.

Step 1: Publicly break the SDA rules

The easiest way to do this is to skip church, or skip some other Seventh Day Adventist meeting that you were expected to attend. Ideally, this will result in a conservation started by a SDA friend/family member where they will confront you about why you failed to attend/keep the rule. For instance, your mother may call you and ask “why weren’t you at church today?” I think that the best way to have this conversation is over the phone. I would personally consider having this conversation in-person to be overwhelming.

Step 2: Be honest with them

When they confront you, tell them the truth. “I didn’t go to church, because I don’t want to go to church anymore.” When they ask you why, you tell them “because I no longer consider myself a Seventh Day Adventist.” The result of this will probably be a very, very emotional conversation in which they will tell you some very hurtful things. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself when it gets too much and hang up/leave. My suggestion is that when it starts to get nasty, that you leave almost immediately. When I had this conversation I was crying buckets of tears and wasn’t in a position to talk anyway, I eventually choked and hung up.

You do not need to ring anyone else and tell them about your decision. The news will spread very fast. By the end of the following Sabbath, anyone that matters will know that you are no longer an SDA.

Step 3: Immediately go to your new social support network

Now it is time to transition your social support network over to your non-SDA friends. Before step 1, have a meeting place set up where you can be surrounded by your non-SDA friends/family for support. Once your conversation in step 2 is over, go be with them and cry, vent, cry, sob, yell, shake and let them hug you and support you. Choose a meeting place that your SDA family/friends don’t know about so they can’t find you.

This is the most vulnerable you will be, and the temptation to pretend it never happened and go back will be very high. DO NOT talk to Adventists during this time. You risk going back – not because you actually believe any of it, but because it is horrific to consider how their opinion/attitude towards you is going to change, and you risk going back just to appease them and to have them like you again. This is a very bad reason to go back. I repeat, do not talk to any SDA’s for the rest of the day/night.

Whether you think the church is a cult or not, this is very relevant.

On this note, it is good to do this either on a Friday or a Saturday, because then you have the weekend to recoup and be emotionally prepared to go back to work/class on Monday.

Step 4: Stay away from your house for a few days

Your emotions will be incredibly raw. My suggestion is to stay away from your house for a few days. For 3 days I couch surfed at my friends houses because I was afraid of going back to my house and being confronted by my family. For a few days, organize accommodation away from your house. You don’t have to couch surf; you could stay at a hotel for a few days and just let yourself recoup. During this time I suggest you continue to avoid your SDA friends/family and continue to seek emotional support from your non-SDA friends/family.

Step 5: Slowly return your life to normal, and take your place in “The World”.

What do I do after this?

I am sorry, but I am still not sure how to give advice here. I deconverted quite some time ago, and my memories are rather blurry. Here are some tips for how I managed it:

  • Find a good counselor that is qualified. The counselor was helpful for me not just because it gave me someone to talk about my emotions with, but because they helped me de-program myself. I had to get rid of a lot of false ideas/illusions I had. Friends are great to talk with, but they are biased towards you. A counsellor is a neutral third-party that can tell you the honest truth.
  • Leaning on non-Adventist friends/family. This is so important, you need a really strong support network, otherwise you are tempting with fate and you could end up slipping into depression.
  • Try to not focus on it. You need to strike a balance. In life, it is important to talk and vent, this helps us deal with hard things. But no matter how much you talk and vent, it won’t fix the situation. It is complicated and messy. You have to learn to let things go and to focus on the positive in your life – for which there will be a LOT!
  • Rebuilding your relationship with your Adventist friends/family will be a long-term endeavor, don’t rush it.

I haven’t spent a lot of time analyzing and thinking about the post de-conversion world. I lived through it but I hardly thought about it. When I deconverted, I knew I could barely comprehend it and so I didn’t even try. I let it happen as it happened, and that worked for me.

It is hard, but you will get through it. The experience will make you a much stronger person. And know that, wherever you are, I am thinking about you, and so are all of the others that have gone before you.

  1. Thank you so much for this article!! I’ve been on the slow I guess “roll-out” for several years, and now am tired of pretending the Adventist lifestyle is they way I want to live. As a 3rd generation raised SDA where not only my family but extended family is SDA has made this even more difficult. I never could’ve imagined the rift it would cause between myself and my parents, lifelong friends, etc. I’m glad to know that over the long term that I will hopefully be able to rebuild these relationships, but must except they may never be the same.

  2. In general, a good guide and a useful one. I think perhaps a bit to generalised in places: ‘you *will* lose your family’ (in italics, even) is simply not the case for everyone. People are varied: some families will stay in contact even with different beliefs. Changing it to ‘you *may* lose your family, and should be prepared for that as an issue’ would perhaps be better in terms of fitting the reality and complexity of life.

    There are similar issues in a few places in the document. As I say, useful and well written, but IMO *part* of deconverting is to stop assuming people are all the same – inside or outside the church. The variety of humanity is its glory.

  3. Luke 15:3-7 ESV

    So he told them this parable: “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

    • I was an adventist for over 50 years since I left not a Single SDA pastor ever came to visit or ask why, so much for the 99 story

      • I am so sorry. The church suffers when we lose the elders. Fortunately, God never leaves you.

  4. You don’t say anything about how to officially leave the church. It seems like this bit of information is really difficult to find. I would rather not have to go to a church service and have them publicly vote to accept my removal from the books, but this seems to be the only way. My brother did this, and while it wasn’t a terrible experience, I’d like a more private option (according to him, it was just confirmed by one phone call from a church rep-someone who was a long time family friend). Everyone in my immediate family has been on a gradual progression away from the church, so I fortunately have not had to worry about losing their support. I think it’s more concerning for some of the extended family because we are a 4 generation adventist family who has put lots and lots of money into adventist education. I just have to say, the quote from “Chuck” was right on with my experience. There is a very painful and confusing transition between the two lives, and losing friends is the most difficult. Fortunately, many of my friends have left too, so it’s not too lonely. 🙂

  5. e Illuminati is really serious… they killed 2pac cause he wanted to tell people about the Illuminati blinding people not to see about e seventh day…( the 7 day theory ) .

    they started since Nimrod ‘ s time building a tour (pyramid) to go to heaven.. God changed languages they couldn’t hear each other then started again using symbolic language …

    also created world war 2

    the devil is at work .. they r controlling everything.. (America) is being used to deceive people ‘s attention from God.. using their symbolic language everywhere.. America is seeking for power to rule the world so that they will create one government and one religion..that’s why they’re stealing.. from other counties… their war is against the seventh day..they’re very smart and the most deadly part of it people know nothing… they’re trapped cause they told us money is power.. so everyone ‘s attention is on money… they give drugs,guns to children so that they will be doom… and murderers.. they’re killing Arabs innocent blood… they’re devils.. pop john Paul knows this he clams to be God… and Obama is just following oders.. the last true president of America was Kennedy.. they killed him so that they will accomplish the pyramid.. with their own puppets (gorge w bush)

    • Hearing these asinine conspiracy theories spewed over and over, even from the pulpit, was one of the many reasons I left the Adventist church. Even when I was a “true believer”, people who were WAY too into this stuff made me want to back away slowly.

      Fear tactics and sensationalism may be good for luring gullible and uneducated new members into the church, but it will be at the cost of alienating the few reasonable and smart people left in your pews.

      Or wait… maybe that’s the point…

      The Adventist church want to drive out the intelligent and progressive members who threaten the status quo in favor of those who are easily led and controlled…

      They will win power over the ignorant masses by deluding them into believing they are rebellious free thinkers when they are actually being conditioned to reject rational critical thinking….

      Then they will become more powerful than the Catholic Church…. and take over the world! Soon we will all be forced to obey the SATURDAY LAWS!!!

      Uh oh, have I stumbled upon a CONSPIRACY???!

      /sarcasm 😛

      • This garbage is another example of the need to have “levels” of SDA. Pastors are attacked, by self-deemed, “better SDA”‘s.

    • There are medications out there that can really help you, I sincerely hope you seek help from a qualified professional.

      • I was thinking the same thing! This guy is crazy! People do not chase you to stay in the church! I think he needs to look at his parents , 1st!

        • He acts like we are in communist country! You are free to leave anytime!

    • The ADA Church are the worst liers on earth.

      • 90% of all churches are not true. The only solution is to read the Bible for yourself and if you don’t have the skills to start your own church just read the Bible.


  6. if you love God you will do His will. look throughout d Bible and find the truth do not be deceived about the SDA’s they build on word of God. And you should know humans are not perfect. if you love the Lord do not leave and regret when He will come. we all have choices but be carefull of the choice you make. remember Jesus loves you always

    • Behaviour and obedience. The bible as a rule book. These are so much at the heart of Adventism.

  7. Smart people will know what conspiracy theories are by investigating. Have you investigated? Have you seen the link of what is happening today and what really is facing everyone. Do you believe that you’re being controlled. I would expect whoever who started this channel/link had a good read of the bible page by page and prayed for proper understanding of it while doing so. Before you mislead multitudes and have blood on your hands, check your foundations/base before you aid satan in his destruction of people. If I was weak in faith and came across your article, that will cement by decision. If you having problems with it, deal with it yourself don’t drag people in with you. I am Adventist and will stay so and wouldn’t come with unfounded statements before I fully know what I am on about. I think this is a show of loneliness and want a comforting particularly from adventists, attention seaker wanting justification. I will pray for you and those who have followed. May God lead you.

  8. I can tell whoever wrote this article has a grudge. I am trying to cancel my membership with the SDA church, because I don’t believe as they do and am tired of receiving paper mail from them. I have already done the above steps, however, not on purpose. My life simply has nothing to do with the SDA church nor my old friends, though I was raised in the church. If I ever see any SDA members, I will not avoid them. Rather, I will try and make them see that they need to re-evaluate their beliefs. If that doesn’t work, I’ll say “to each his own” and will not hold any grudges. The steps in the article aren’t really steps to leave a church. They seem to be steps to leave friends,family, or simple church-going people. This is your own life, and you live in a free country. Believe what you will without anyone making you “escape.” Rather, make them change over to common sense. If they won’t change, you can still live in peace.

  9. Bro,or sister The message i have read is more than poison.You need to cross from the devils side and learn that the only church God has on this planet is the seventh-Day Adventist church(E.G WHITE, 2SM 63-69)

    Why do you call people to leave God’s church? and telling them to have social network with world lings? My the almighty have pity on you and all your colleagues so that you can come back before God closes the mercy door.Best wishes.

    • You sound like a brainwashed robot on auto reply.

    • Nobody who uses the term “worldlings” should ever be taken seriously. Stop dehumanizing people who don’t belong to your little clique.

    • It people that make comments like this who make me believe that human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution.

    • I am an ex 7th day Adventist. I learned a lot of valuable things while studying the Bible while I was an Adventist. One thing I learned is to READ your Bible. When I left, I did leave SOME good friends behind. Luckily I still have friends that are both Adventist and Non Adventist. I still keep the Sabbath, because if nothing else, this is the one thing I am convinced that they do right. Some of these comments on this post as well as the article make it seem like you will be locked up and persecuted if you try to leave. No one tried to force me back to church. No one came after me. Just the opposite is true. I don’t believe they are a cult – although with most religions you do have the Zealots who paint this and other religions in a bad light. It is irresponsible people like the author and some of the people posting here that will lead people into believing some things about the 7th Day Adventist that simply are not true. You live in America, you are FREE to practice any religion you like. You don’t have to escape

      • SHAROH
        You seem to have some knowledge so if you still feel the need to keep the seventh day sabbath read a very good article on the truthorfables website. The article is written by some very knowledgeable authors and it is called LYING FOR GOD: What Adventists knew and when they knew it 7th edition. Happy reading.

  10. I found in my encounters with the SDA that they are very warm even gushy when you first meet them. As time goes by and they have not successively recruited you into their Church they become cool, even rude and eventually stop all communication with you. To me that was a red flag.When I disagree with a brother or sister I don’t cut off fellowship. I also find their comments at various sites where they have tried to defend themselves to be nasty, arrogant & with cult like replies as I’ve seen here.

    • Monique—you sound like an idiot just like the people who wrote this article. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! If you don’t want to be an SDA just leave the church!!!! why do you need some article to tell you how to leave. I am just floored with the small minded people who wrote this.

    • Keith your encounter are NOT with SDA folks, they are probably with mormon of jehova witnesses. My husband was not SDA, and there was NEVER a time did he ever felt he was being treated rude. And how can you say that their replies sounds like a ” cult like replies”?

  11. Below are three signs of a cult. None of which is applicable to the Adventist church. The information here is quite helpful to escape a cult, however, as far as the SDA church, you’re very mistaken.

    1) Exclusive. They may say, “We’re the only ones with the truth; everyone else is wrong; and if you leave our group your salvation is in danger.”
    2) Secretive. Certain teachings are not available to outsiders or they’re presented only to certain members, sometimes after taking vows of confidentiality.
    3) Authoritarian. A human leader expects total loyalty and unquestioned obedience.

    • Are you kidding me?

      1) How is that NOT exactly what Adventists believe? In their eyes they are not only the One True Religion, but also the One True Christianity. Everyone who disagrees with them is said to be hopelessly misled by Satan or otherwise made out to be villains. I’ve been told my salvation would be in danger if I married a non-Adventist, even if he was a Christian. They explicitly believe that if you don’t come around to their version of the “truth” before the end times (which are always “coming soon”), you’re toast.

      2) They aren’t secretive to the insane extent that say, Mormons or Scientologists are secretive, but that doesn’t mean they are up front and honest. The Ellen G. White Estate keeps a lot of her writings unpublished, and strictly control who has access to them. Adventists are nothing if not notorious for being manipulative in their evangelistic efforts. At best they lie by omission (hiding their denomination until they have no choice but to admit it), at worst they will be extremely two-faced (emotionally manipulate people and tell them what they want to hear, then begin introducing the weird stuff after they’re too brainwashed to think clearly). I remember handing out flyers to an evangelistic meeting, and the man I was partnered with flat-out LIED and said it was “non-denominational” when someone point-blank asked what church was holding it.

      3) The political squabbling within the church is out of control thanks to a long history of right-wing Adventists who need to control everything and cannot tolerate dissidents. Ever heard of Questions on Doctrine? Or Glacier View? Or Merikay McLeod and Pacific Press? Or La Sierra and “Educate Truth”? Or women’s ordination? God help you if you don’t consider Ellen White a prophet. Professors are run out of SDA universities for challenging the status quo on a regular basis. I’ve seen pastors cruelly maligned and fired for ridiculous reasons because they dared to question local church officers/elders. And for those who feel like their crusades to “purify” the mainstream church are going nowhere, you can start yet another one of the countless SDA “offshoot ministries” and doomsday cults.

    • I am a SDA member that has just finished a biblical study showing me that I should not belong to the church anymore. The SDA church is exclusive, secretive and authoritarian. I grew up being told you are either one of them or of the world. Also, the church is very careful to give “teachings” to new people at the right time. Further, if you disagree with even one of the SDA beliefs, including that Ellen White is a prophet, then you can’t be baptized. You have to pledge in front of the congregation to each and every belief as it is read. I am so thankful my eyes have been opened.

    • You just described Christianity in general, Rosa.

      I just left the SDA church and am converting to Judaism. I nearly did that several years ago, but the idea of the cost in terms friends, family and lifestyle, kept me back.

      I simply cannot be honest with myself and believe that Almighty God impregnated a married woman, had himself born as a human baby, committed suicide (Nobody takes my life, I lay it down myself) and offered himself as a human sacrifice- something that God had clearly forbidden. Also, the doctrine of the trinity is a direct violation of the most important commandment in the Bible- That God is One Lord: not two, three or twelve.

      Anyway, I was hoping to get info on how to “officially” remove my name from the membership roles.

  12. Shoot, I’m SDA, and if you find that Seventh-day Adventism is keeping you from Jesus and His love, then I think it’s great that you get out. Just don’t think that a denomination is well represented by fanatics. There is a balance in theology that I appreciate in the Adventist church, but I argue against the concept of exclusivity and stuff like that. The doctrine if investigative judgment is generally unnecessary, holding Ellen G. White to a inerrant standard is downright wrong, and the remnant church theology is also completely wrong. But those beliefs are generally held by hardcore right-wing fanatics who don’t represent the majority of the church. I guess all I’m saying is Jesus is the most important thing. If you see Jesus outside the SDA church, I’m stoked for you!

    • So if you view holding Ellen White to a inerrant is downright wrong and the remnant church theology is also wrong you continue to support this church with your attendance and tithes WHY??? You do realize 10 wrongs do not make a right! From what I have seen these more liberal Adventists think they can pick and choose what they want to follow and what they don’t on their own. Take for example my ex girlfriend who is also Adventist. Is it okay to drink alcohol get drunk at the party and dance all night but preach to me no bacon and no work saturday? DId anyone say HYPOCRITE??

      • Looking for hypocrisy in the Adventist church is a waste of time. Most of us with an education know that the foundation of the church is built on fantasy and fraud. You could write an encyclopedia about it. The point of this article is leaving the church and dealing with the subsequent adjustment issues that many of us who were forced into the religion as children have. There is some excellent points made here on that front.

        • As an outsider looking in on my ex girlfriends Adventist family I have to say a lot of what I saw with them is exactly how it is portrayed on this website in the articles. The family is very close yet sometimes bitter at each other and always seems to be sticking their noses in each others business and other church members business. I thought them to be a totally dysfunctional family. I found that the religion is so intertwined in their lives that it almost seems that church comes first before anything else. She told me the same as you mention she was forced to go to church when she was younger there was no choice. Sometimes she seemed a little bitter towards her mother for that. And yes when all the family is in there it makes it harder to leave for sure. Part of the problem as I see it is that they put fear into the members. I have first hand knowledge feeling those harsh words just for breaking up with her. I got the whole shame on me from some relative of hers and outright sworn at from a sister and another church member. So ya for me there is not a whole bunch of love lost if that is the product of the Adventist church thats fine. That misery is best left for someone else. For me it was mostly the matter of what my kids would be taught if we had any together. We were not in agreement. I wanted sunday church only. That caused major disagreement that never seemed to get resolved. I can see though that anyone who wants to leave this religion and has finally come to the conclusion that is enough of this crap is going to need some help and thick skin. These articles are a good guide. Saw the following written about fear in article here it goes. “Here is the thing though your fears can rob you of living your life to the fullest. Live your life in such a way that fears don’t morph into regrets, because there in lies a completely different kind of fear – the one knowing you had the knowledge required to approach life differently and alter the course,but you lacked the perserverence and courage to do so.” Not my words but fitting

        • ” Most of us with an education know that the foundation of the church is built on fantasy and fraud”? You could write an encyclopedia about it? Let me ask you? then why hasn’t it been done.

    • Well said

  13. Re: that leaving SDA site. The main reason people find it hard to leave the church isn’t coz of pressure from members whatsoever. The primary reason is that the former believer cannot with a clear conscience fool themselves into thinking that there is anyone but the Creator God as succinctly revealed in the Bible and with diligent exegesis portrayed as accurately as Adventists can. Leaving the faith is just that – abandoning The True God entirely. Like turning from the unfallen Lucifer into Satan himself.

    • I have seen and felt the manipulation and pressure the Adventist church and her own family for that matter put on my ex girlfriend. That is outright BULL SHIT that the members do not pressure her. When I finally convinced her to quit attending the adventist church all of a sudden after a couple weeks church members would be stopping by her house leaving reading materials for her. One of the books I saw was a bible study for young adults with her name written all across the front in large black marker. Some how they roped this girl into looking after the church finances which was suppossed to be just some minor data entry she was told help her grandpa out. Ha! turns out they dropped the entire secretarys job in her lap. She still had not been attending then someone from the church called her mid saturday morning saying they need a signed cheque for something. But when she gets to church with the cheque no one seems to know what it is all about who to make this cheque out for or anything. But while you are here you may as well stay for pot luck. I saw her own mother pressure her and call her every friday night to see if she is going to church saturday. Ya right no pressure at all. The Adventist church will send the henchmen out to drag her back kicking and screaming if necessary rather than risk loosing even one of the flock.

      • I’m sorry, did I miss the part where the “Adventist Henchmen” DID try to drag their daughter back kicking and screaming or was that just for the drama affect? Maybe the parents are concerned with the type of person her daughter is involved with. Just saying.

        • I don’t think thats the problem. “I was the only guy my ex girlfriend brought home to her parents that they ever approved of”. My ex girlfriends words not mine. And yes a sunday protestant boy. The Adventists are all about manipulation and masters at it.

    • “Diligent exegesis”. Hahaha.

      Adventism was built on a foundation of sand. It is nothing but elaborate damage control built around the religious delusions of an epileptic girl all because a group of biblically illiterate farmers in 1884 didn’t want to admit they were wrong. It’s impossible to support most of its doctrines with the Bible alone.

      Many people eventually realize this, and it’s a big part of why they decide to leave the church. Since they’ve broken through the brainwashing and can’t be won back through the typical SDA propaganda, active church members have to resort to other measures to pressure them back in. It rarely works in the long term.

      Leroy, I suggest you stop sailing the S.S. Arrogance down Denial River. You sound exactly like the Pharisee from Luke 18:11.

      • Kate, exactly which doctrines “It’s impossible to support most of its doctrines with the Bible alone” are you speaking of?

    • Hi Leroy,

      I see it’s been a while since you posted…So, you really think that to leave the faith (I assume you to be talking about the SDA faith) is to leave “The True God entirely.” Well, I do have a clear conscience. In addition, I don’t feel one shred of guilt not paying tithe; to an SDA church or any other church. Decades ago, my History Professor, who held that the country of Egypt started as a cult, challenged me to find the truth. It hurts, just as he said it would, but it set me free. No, I’m not talking about evolution. So, tell me, when you were at the seminary, soaking in all your soteriological training, did you wear a watch? Do you wear a watch to the SDA Church? Over the years, I’ve come to find it rather hilarious that Sabbath-keepers, not wearing jewelry, take timepieces to their worship services, holding one day above another. In case you want to talk again, I’ll keep an eye on my new favorite website.

  14. Dear Kate, if it indeed is your name, the problems you raise are wholly subjective and inaccurate. If anything Adventism is so biblically based that it becomes TOO laborious for Joe everyman to follow, and we are left to attempt to rationalise our wandering actions with weak excuses such those which you vainly blab out. The Kernel doctrines of following Christ are almost without exception mirrored in mainline christianity, and that is after all the entire point of the church anyway. Had you had any advanced Soteriological training or interest in it, you might have been able to grasp God’s grand scheme in it, and only in diligently interpreting the Bible in the hermeneutical rules it sets itself for its understanding of God’s Tri-Une revelation to us could you see the point. Sadly however, it is not arrogance, but extreme submission to the precepts that the Bible dictates that a believer would be able to overcome Evil. Im no judge, but apparently your kind refuse to be made subject to the teachings of the Bible, and just wantonly shrug them off. Good luck with that sister.

    • Are you seriously trying to weasel your way out of having to defend the problems that have been pointed out in your belief system with “ho humm, no need to argue with facts because anyone who disagrees is obviously not as smart and spiritual as we Adventists!” I’ve met quite a few obnoxious folks in this church, but none with their head so shamelessly and proudly stuck up their ass as yours.

      You are like a walking advertisement for everything that’s wrong with Adventism.

      • Well the standard answer with all cults is deny deny deny when pushed on what exactly the doctrines are that they believe or when they try to defend them. It is well known out in the public that over the last number of years there has been a big push on from the Seventh Day Adventist Church to be more evangelical and cover up Ellens cultish teachings. But now it seems the church itself is split. If any of the more liberal adventists think that they are going to change things from the inside think again. The hard line ones will never let that happen. Last I saw in a 2010 church manual you still have to uphold the words of Ellen White in their baptismal vows. Even my adventist ex girl friend said that the higher ups were down here at this local church telling her that the rules need to be tightned up they were not happy with the ex girlfriend wearing her make up and earrings. Even she was not impressed by that.

      • as you as a christian, they have power to revel their anger to sda, keep in mind and read your comments closely, you are sound like an angry Adventist, you made the 3 words SDA to SAD. Please be kind and use your Christianity words softly. I am sorry, I am an Adventist, I am born and was an elder and so on, …. and etc…. the personally i struggle with SDA people are very Hippocrates and so judgemental members, it was only in other area of the world, most like i found out a lots of fake and plastics and materialistic ways of teaching.

        sorry not to hurt you. i am sorry again. i just opened my 2020 eyes

        • No need to be sorry. As a christian just have to point out the problems with the SDA church. When something is that far of the mark I will say something. Happy to hear your 2020 eyes are open. If any of my comments help anyone in some small way it is all worth it.

          • Dear Allan, just one question, please: are you ready to meet Jesus when he comes again?

    • Hi Leroy,

      Thank you for your comment. You used a lot of words that a lot of our readers might not understand, so I’m just going to explain what they are for people if you don’t mind, as your comments have generated some discussion.

      “Kernel doctrines” is not a technical phrase used in academia. You can correct me if I am wrong, but I think you are saying that the core doctrines of following Jesus are mirrored in mainline Christianity. So I think you are saying that the things that Jesus taught that you shouldn’t do, are being mirrored in mainline Christianity, and it is the churches point to shed light on this and be different? I found your comment confusing because it read as though you were actually saying that mainline Christian is mirroring, as in, following, Jesus’ core doctrines.

      “Soteriological training” is training the teaches you how to interpret Christian texts that discuss the issue of salvation. As an example, a lot of mainstream Christian academic soteriological discussion focuses on how we can be reconciled to God and receive salvation, despite being sinful.

      When Leroy says that he believes that the Bible sets “hermeneutical rules for itself” he is saying that he believes the Bible outlines within itself rules for how to interpret the words within. That is what hermeneutics is: the theory of the correct way to interpret a text, whether it is the Bible or something else.

      The “Tri-Une revelation” is another way of saying God’s revelation to us. The “Tri-Une” is in reference to the Trinity. The Trinity is made up of Yahweh, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. In most Christchurch churches, including the Seventh Day Adventist church, the Trinity IS God.


  15. I just want to detangle myself from the organised conference structure of the church.

  16. Thank you so much admin for the simplification. Just one thing i actually meant that was not clear was that in my personal views, which i believe are backed by many, the core teachings that Adventism harps on, in order to be saved, as opposed to personal suggested behaviour, or customs that make any organisation unique, are mostly the same in every christian organisation. Some of the beliefs, according to the official Adventist views, such as listening to any of the White’s opinions are purely optional in order to be baptised into the church. Many people can be critical of a structured organisation, and its their right not be accept everything without question, but if the official views as propagated are clarified, many misconceptions could be eradicated. Believers aren’t taught to find the lost sheep, but are constrained by the Bible, to do what they can to prevent a fellow believer from becoming estranged. And i have yet to read of a person being forced to return.

  17. My parents were Seventh-day Adventists before I was born. I attended Seventh-day Adventist schools (no public schools except for violin lessons).

    I’ve had Seventh-day Adventists tell me they “have no use for evangelism” but I understood them to mean they had no use for what it has become customary in Seventh-day Adventist circles to call “evangelism”– which isn’t evangelism at all. It is merely proselytizing.

    Evangelism is about the nature of the kingdom and the nature of the king. Evangelism is about the depravity of the human race and the way the creator has chosen to deal with the terrible emergency of sins. Evangelism includes the story of the birth of Jesus, his life, teachings, death, resurrection and ascension.

    There is nothing inherently evil about organization or an organization having behavioral criteria for voting membership IF and only if neither the organization nor its membership criteria become the focus of the organization’s message.

    I am passionate about evangelism. There are Seventh-day Adventists who are–or would like to be–as passionate about evangelism as I am.

    Because they have been recruited instead of converted and because the recruitment has centered around behavioral criteria for denominational membership, many Seventh-day Adventist laity are barely or not at all acquainted with the biblical gospel.

    That is not true of the Seventh-day Adventist clergy however. The Seventh-day Adventist seminary DOES teach the gospel and few people are recruited to serve as Seventh-day Adventist clergy who haven’t earned a master’s degree in theology from an Adventist college.

    I imagine hundreds of young Seventh-day Adventist ministers embark on their careers on fire for true evangelism–on fire to promulgate the biblical gospel.

    The problem is that they soon discover that the people who sign their paychecks (officers of local Seventh-day Adventist “conferences”) evaluate the pastor’s “success” almost entirely in terms of how many people are recruited as “regular” members of the denomination. Exactly how overt the message is I have not been able to determine. But the young pastors soon realize that they can get more people to join the organization if their “evangelism” focuses almost exclusively on behavioral criteria for denominational membership.

    Oh how it must break the young pastor’s hearts to realize that they are being required to choose between evangelism and proselytizing! And, under the stated or implied threat of loosing their source of financial security, they must succeed in the goal of recruiting new members!

    If I could find Seventh-day Adventists who are passionate about evangelism, I’d be delighted to encourage them in their efforts to share the gospel. I turned 70 last month which has led to my decision that I will not, in my lifetime, find significant numbers of Seventh-day Adventist laity or clergy in Michigan who are not afraid to stand up to the conference admistrators who perpetuate the cycle that crowds out evangelism with proselytizing. Sadly, I have not the wherewithal to travel extensively in search of Seventh-day Adventists who not only understand the difference between evangelism and proselytizing but are dedicated to evangelism.

  18. Antiochus Epiphanes knew well the Iron Legs of Rome!

    I’ve seen some of the little attacks that SDAs put on other members of this site with no data to back anything up. Per Keith’s comment on this page, I also “find their comments…to defend themselves to be nasty, arrogant & with cult like replies…”

    I was raised a 3rd gen SDA by The Three Angles. After getting between a pastor and what he perceived to be a tithe check from a doctor, I grew horns and crossed a lot of boundaries until a co-worker set me straight by showing me some facts. It was sort of like a young Darth Vader turned to the side of light, or enlightenment. I’m no longer someone with horns, but an iconoclast like he was, and for the last 8 years, I’ve had a retired communist general for a father-in-law. To me, the world is gumball machine. I’ve found the truth in my journey. As the webmaster said, being outside the SDA Church is not very great or comfortable, but the truth is comfortable because it sets you free.

    For those SDAs who take pot shots on this site, or to the SDA conference worker/pastor, I challenge you in the intellectual arena! You think you know something special about the world…something about White’s prophesies…666…something she pointed out in the books of Daniel/Revelation….Sunday vs Sabbath…the End Times…that little comma thing…You pick it.

    Be warned! Besides the Sword and Shield of Truth, I also fight with the Crowbar of Truth.

    As you attempt to drag my supposedly condemned body through the mud—and it, w/ no soul, is supposedly condemned according to the SDA Church, since I was shown the only truth, but left–, I will attempt to pry open that steel trap the SDA Church closed your mind off with. …I would prefer you picked on me rather than some of the young men and women on this site…Besides, I’m the contractor who has to work away from home, and I have some time for this sort of thing.

  19. Loosing contact with some SDA friends/family members is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

    Ellen White stole from Wylie’s History of Protestantism. There are hundreds of examples of White’s literary thieving. Consider Page 76-77 of the Great Controversy versus Wylie’s History of Protestantism. On Page 76 of the Great Controversy, the words of Wylie, which are 10 years older, are copied. Page 77 has a picture (i.e. a printing press medium etching) copied from Wylie’s Book, except, in this picture, a mole was removed from Mr. Waldensians’ cheek, and the original artist’s initials, SC, were changed to CC, possibly a joke for “carbon copy,” a term that has been around since 1808. White did buy the rights these printing press medium etchings; however, there are still legal issues with passing off artwork as your own. In addition, she told us that her work was an inspiration from the Holy Spirit. (References: The White Lie by Walter T. Rea and

    Here is something to consider: If you are in a false church, could you be on a straight and narrow path to eternal nothingness? …Run! Run for your very lives!

  20. Now that you have given us such a fabulous strategy to leave the adventist church…..PLEASE assist by listing for me the alternative churches that I ccan join.

    • Spoken like a follower– why should the author tell you where to go? The point in leaving is to find your own path, not conform to another’s. of course, growing up in a cult fosters dependency on others for direction.

  21. I finally opened my eyes about Adventist, they really only want money to operate their needs, noticing that the difference between your sabbath with focusing to God and going to SDA church is money.

  22. In asking “the leadership” and other members of the GC of SDA’s years ago and recently, what to do in asking for Saturdays off. (Notice, I did not write “Sabbath.” That is one of the most loaded words, I mean a full clip, and a bullet in the Chamber, I’ve ever known.)

    They actually told me to ask for Saturday – oh yes, and that pesky Friday night, according to the very non-legalistic Sunset Tables -off, and I will work any other of the 6 days of the week left. This, so that worker can actively break that Saturday – and Friday night! – so I can keep it!!!!! YES. THAT is what I was told! Is that balls-out, or what? Comments anyone????

    • Yes, Brne, comments: The 60 seconds in a minute, and the 60 minutes in an hour have more significance than just an ancient, Babylonian number base convenient for traveling and selling the cattle of Shakan w/out a cash register. Those who would wear a watch to a Sabbath-keeping church/synagogue are the laughing stalk of World History. (reference the Mystical and Mythological Explanatory Works of Assyrian and Babylonian Scholars by Alasdair Livingstone, ISBN: 1575061333 / ISBN-13: 9781575061337)

  23. I have been an Adventist for 10 years of my life. My family has generations upon generations of Adventism. It was really hard for me to come out. I am no longer an Adventist but it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my whole entire life. When you are in an Adventist church they want to make sure you stay there. I don’t believe a church should be forceful because God is not forceful. Another thing that bothers me about this religion is they believe that they are the one and only true church. That is a bunch of lies because then that means that everyone else that believes something else is going to hell and that they are the mark of the beast. So thank you for the article it really gave me some confidence.

  24. I came from a mixed background my father was raised catholic but my mother was SDA I was raised catholic but converted at the age of 24. I never fully conformed to SDA diet or lifestyle and I never have had genuine close friend in the SDA church, the ones I thought were close ultimitly dis you. Economic its hard being a SDA the church’s patented answer is gods testing you. I am single and I can imagine that some SDA think I may be gay because I am single but although being a little out of shape I have been told I am quite handsome. I could date and socialize with none Adventist women but that’s frowned apon I have never dated in SDA church and no one plays match maker in regards to me.( in other words I don’t get introduced to available SDA females.) All all I had it with SDA s I haven’t been to church in 8 years and its if no one in the church cares I send them a tithe check only because I don’t want what’s God’s. I find SDA’s as being arbritary and capricious in that if you really beleive in unconditional love not fully treat someone as you would want to be treated is logically caprisous and of the character of Satan! My brother who is an admited atheist says the concept of. God gives you rules and ultimely keeps you from loving others unconditionally and therefore makes you a hypocrite. I believe this may be practically true but even atheist have conditions. So I guess its like the good book says every man a lier and to god be the glory and that is true there is really no merit in keeping the law because none of us really accomplish it only Christ did! THERE IS ONLY MERIT IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF CHRIST!

  25. We experience Adventist in different ways.

    The author expressed a lot that was similar to mine. Thank you.

    The best of Adventist was very good. The dark side was poisonous. It was like the book about relationships : Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay.

    It’s taken a long time to unravel the toxicity and the healing continues.

    I’m glad to be a spiritual atheist and that I carry the best of spirituality in my spirit and the healthy thinking I learned and developed that took me out of Adventism’s and religion’s clutches.

    I value and carry with me my love of community that came from my Adventist upbringing. I’ve learned a lot of what to avoid in community from the controlling and insular aspect of Adventism that I experienced.

    It’s been a tough journey moving on from an insular community and culture that my family was deeply embedded in fior generations. There was so much ingrained mind and behaviour control built in that I didn’t see it for what it was. It seemed to be normal. The insidious part for me was how much love and care was also deeply entwined with control and manipulation. For a long time I couldn’t see the control and manipulation for what it was. Often very subtle and seemingly done with good intention.

  26. My husband and I was baptized into the SDA Church two years ago. We never really got much involved other than attending the occasional service and making a few friends. I honestly never learned much and am bored with the tradition. They seem much more concerned with what Im wearing than the depression I’ve been going through. I attend other churches and have learned much more.

    • Why did you get baptized if you “honestly never learned much?”

  27. How can I become a member of a ex advantist support network in my area? This sounds like escaping a bad relationship but worse because it’s spiritual.

    • It depends where you are located. The more SDA’s there are in the area, the more likely you are to find a “group” of formers, places like the Loma Linda area, or Andrews, Collegedale, etc. If you aren’t in one of those “mecca” areas, the best way I have found is to connect on Facebook, if you use it. There are several open groups, some closed (FB friends can see that you are a member of the group, but cannot see anything that is posted in the group), and a few “secret” groups that you will not find on a search. These ones, you must be invited to by someone you know. Because of the reasons stated on this site, people can be pretty guarded about who they share things with, so efforts are taken to keep these secret groups as a safe place, so you kind of have to have a “referral” to get in…just for safety and privacy. It truly is a “deprogramming” kind of process and it helps to have a safe place to turn. There are a lot of lovely, supportive former SDA’s out there…sometimes it’s hard to find them. I see it’s been awhile since you left this comment, I hope you will see it 🙂

  28. I have always loved God and I enjoy going to praise him in church. No one forces me to go. Should I decide not to attend; I’m sure there will be phone calls … it just happens. I didn’t like it, but the elders are committed to ensuring the flock is ok. There are some doctrinal issues that you just cannot bring to anyone’s attention because you will be singled out and an elder will come to visit you … I don’t like that either. You know, Jesus never pressured anyone, he simply let your own heart convict!

  29. This is a very generalized article, I left the church simply by not continuing to go. Maintained many good friends and my family. Perhaps that is an issue with some people unfortunately (as it is in most churches) however it is certainly not a “disconnecting” kind of thing like Scientology. I’m sorry your experience was like this but it is rubbish to label and generalize the entire church like this.

  30. Yea, I don’t care for all the arguing, but can someone just tell me if I need to do a transfer of memembership to the “non affiliated” church or do I write a letter stating I’m leaving? Thanks

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